Cold Forgiveness
by Sassybratt
Summary: AU: A cruel twist of fate. A broken man. A dying wish. And one last chance to make things right. Three-shot KagxInuxKik
1. A Broken Man

Rated for strong language and drug content.

**Cold Forgiveness  
Chapter 1: A Broken Man**

Her auburn eyes gazed around the worn-down apartment complex, pulling her hair away from her face as a steady breeze blew by. Trees crackled under the wind as approaching storm clouds covered the ethereal glow of the moon.

The woman shivered and clutched her designer purse tighter around her shoulder, taking a deep breath as she steeled her resolve. It was her sister's last wish before she would slip from the earth they walked upon. It was only right to see it through to the end. And there wasn't much time.

Kikyo's heels clicked solidly against the black top as she stepped into a dark alley way, her eyes ghosting over the trash filled dumpsters and puddles of mud. Her nose wrinkled in disgust by the musky smells and she forced down a scream as a rat scurried by. It was not a place she would be caught dead in, but when her sister's smiling face came to mind, she pushed away her fears and worries about social status. It wasn't important now.

A few scraggly looking men huddled near the back of the alley; a sweet scent lingering in the air. Kikyo hardened her gaze and tried to calm her frantically beating heart. To them, she would appear a stoic maiden, seeking some answers.

Gray eyes met her own, glancing up and down her slender frame. "Lookie here, boys," he called, inhaling from the cigarette that dangled from his lips. "Seems as though we've got ourselves a stray."

A round of chuckles came from the small group of men. The foul odor of alcohol and drugs seemed to thickly coat the area, and Kikyo found it hard to breathe.

"Tell me, miss," the man with the gray eyes said, taking a step forward. "What's a pretty little thing like you doin' in these parts of town?" He peered at her designer clothes and expensive jewelry, licking his lips before meeting her gaze.

"That is none of your concern," she replied coolly, seemingly unfazed by the strange man's antics. "However, if you could tell me where I can find Miroku Houshi, I would be very grateful."

The man scowled and rolled his eyes. "What'cha want with him?" he questioned irritably.

"Now, now, let's not scare the pretty woman off," a smooth voice called over the crowd. The men parted to allow a person by, slightly bowing their heads with respect.

Violet eyes gazed at her with humor as the man she sought stood before her. His dark hair was pulled back to the nape of his neck as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his blue jeans, beaming a crooked smile.

"Miroku," Kikyo stated in greeting, not having seen the man in some time.

His eyes widened with recognition and his smile grew. "Lady Kikyo," he replied. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"You know I detest that name," she sneered.

He shrugged. "Old habits die hard, I suppose. Especially when concerning childhood. Such simpler days, don't you think?"

Kikyo lifted her chin in defiance and took a step toward him. "I did not come here to reminisce about childish fantasies. I am in need of your assistance."

A single eyebrow rose behind dark bangs. "Oh? Are you saying Kikyo, a celebrity in the eyes of the city, actually needs my help?" Her expression didn't waver. He smiled. "Well then, allow me to escort you to my private room. I assure you that by the end of the night, satisfaction will be met."

A look of disgust crossed her features. "Same lecher as always, it seems."

Miroku rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Like I said. Old habits die hard."

She nodded absentmindedly, watching the group of men out of the corner of her eye. They were staring at the pair with obvious confusion, wondering what a high-class princess like herself was doing in a dank alleyway such as this.

Sighing, she turned her gaze back to the man of interest. "I need to know where he is, Miroku," she said, lowering her voice to avoid the ears of others.

All humor left his face and his brows furrowed. He frowned and hardened his gaze. "He doesn't want to see you," he stated, leaving little room for argument.

"I understand his reasons," she assured. "But I would never have come if it wasn't of life or death importance."

Miroku fished a cigarette out from behind his ear and lit it with a lighter, taking a long drag before turning his violet gaze to her once more. He stayed silent, waiting for her to voice her reasons.

She sighed and released some of the tension in her muscles. "I've looked everywhere for him, but there isn't a trace of him left. No one knows where he is."

"Because he doesn't want to be found," he spat in return, glaring at her fearlessly. "You betrayed him past the point of heartbreak, and when he found solace in someone else, you effortlessly crushed every fiber of his being once more. He just wants to live out the remainder of his lonely life in peace."

Kikyo cringed slightly under Miroku's harsh words, but her resolve did not waver. "I would gladly do so, as I have been for the past five years. However, this isn't about me anymore."

The furious expression on his face diminished ever so slightly. "Then who is it about, Kikyo?"

A soft sigh slipped through her lips as she turned sorrow-filled eyes upon the man. "It's Kagome."

Miroku's cigarette dropped to the ground as he opened his mouth, feeling like the wind had been knocked from his chest. Never in all his years did he believe Kikyo would utter her sister's name with concern. Kikyo had always looked down upon her younger sibling, always seeming to outmatch the girl in everything. But Kagome never let her spirits down, instead cheering her sister on in whatever she did.

"What happened?" Miroku mumbled, no longer angry at the woman before him. A wave of concern washed over him as a feeling of dread built in the pit of his stomach. "Is she alright?"

Kikyo shook her head. "I need to see him," she replied, her voice pleading with him to understand her request.

With a curt nod, he gestured for her to follow as he led the way further into the dark alley.

Miroku led her to an abandoned warehouse just on the outskirts of the city. They had climbed over drunken homeless people and druggies looking for a fix in order to hastily make their way through the narrow back alleyways. Kikyo breathed an inaudible sigh of relief upon exiting the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Her escort peered over his shoulder at her, his hand on the door knob. "Look, he's not exactly in the right state of mind. Hasn't been for a long time," he spoke quietly with a defeated tone. "I suggest you don't make him angry, although your appearance may be enough."

Kikyo opened her mouth to question his words, but he had already disappeared inside the warehouse. The door creaked eerily on the hinges and, not wanting to be left alone in a bad part of the city, she quickly followed him inside.

She could barely detect his faint silhouette through the darkness as she shuffled after him, hearing the slight click of her heels as he led her down a hallway. "Watch your step," she heard him call from the darkness.

With graceful steps, she managed to follow him down the old, rickety staircase to what appeared to be a basement beneath the warehouse. A dull light bulb hung overhead, swinging back and forth as the winds from outside picked up. It howled against the windows that lined the walls near the ceiling, while tree branches scraped against the glass.

In the middle of the room stood a wooden coffee table, its furnished surface dented and abused. Beside it was a beat-up couch, stuffing coming out of the cushions from being thrashed upon. Circling around the table were a few other wooden chairs and stools.

Seven pairs of eyes turned upon the new arrivals, and Kikyo found fear beginning to course through her veins. They sneered at her, looking her up and down as if she were a piece of meat.

"Look what the cat dragged in," a man with blue eyes stated from his place on the floor. His arm was slung over his bent knee as he smiled at her, his braided black hair shifting with the turn of his head. "'Bout time we got some around here."

Miroku shot him a look. "Sorry, Bank, but she's off-limits. This is a matter of business."

Bank scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the substances strewn about on the table. White powder sat upon old movie cases, accompanied by an ash tray, a marijuana bowl, a few packs of cigarettes, and numerous small bags filled with various drugs that Kikyo couldn't name. It was the very pit of a man's downfall.

The man who was seated on the couch snorted some of the powder. He wiped his nose across the back of his hand before looking up at the visitors. Dark circles hung under his blood-shot amber eyes and his silver hair was pulled back into a pony-tail at the nape of his neck. Drearily, he traced his gaze over Miroku's form, barely making out another person cowering behind his back.

Kikyo stepped forward, ignoring Miroku's hesitant gaze, and allowed the man to catch a full view of who she was. His eyes widened with realization and he shot up from his seat. "What the fuck is she doing here?" he spat out in a rage, his hands clenched into fists as his side. "I told you I never wanted to see the bitch again!"

"I know, Inuyasha," Miroku stated softly. "I wouldn't have brought her if it wasn't important."

He growled and tipped over the table, scattering the contents on the floor in his fury. Shouts of complaints rang through the warehouse as the seven other people surrounding the man cried out against the unjust action, falling over themselves to get out of the way.

"What's the big fucking idea, Yash?" Bank yelled, picking himself up off the floor as he watched his friends scramble to pick up the various drugs strewn about the floor.

Miroku sent a hardened glare his way. "Perhaps you and your friends should leave us alone for a minute."

The blue-eyed man stepped forward to protest, but he knew when to back down. After all, Miroku knew of Inuyasha's past and had taken it upon himself to keep their hideaway a secret from prying eyes. If it wasn't for him, the cops would have already ransacked the place for sure.

With a grunt of disapproval, he turned around and grabbed his jacket. "Come on, guys. Let's head out for a bit." He glared at Miroku a final time before gathering the others and exiting through a side entrance Kikyo hadn't noticed before.

As soon as they were out of sight, Inuyasha made his way over to a small refrigerator at the end of the large room. He swiftly opened it and grabbed a can of beer, slamming the door shut with frustration. "Tell me why the fuck you thought twice about letting her come here," he demanded, swigging down a large gulp while turning a heated glare upon his friend.

Miroku sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Kikyo found me because she was unable to locate your whereabouts. She has some information that she insisted you know of."

His amber eyes narrowed. "Then why the hell couldn't you just fucking tell me?"

"Inuyasha." Said man turned to glare upon the woman who dared to enter his life once more. "Do not blame Miroku for my actions. I refused to leave until I saw you."

"Why the fuck are you here, bitch?" he demanded, taking a few long strides toward her. "If my memory serves me right, I told you I never wanted to see you again!"

She nodded. "That is correct. I do recall you saying something along those lines. But I am not here for my own personal gain, nor to harm you."

Inuyasha's anger did not diminish in the slightest as he stood there, impatiently waiting for an answer to his question. His amber eyes burned with the desire to kill and his hands flexed urgently.

Kikyo took a small step toward him, reaching out a gentle hand to try and soothe his anger. He took a step back, just out of her reach. "I know I deeply wounded you, Inuyasha," she admitted quietly, retracting her hand and looking at him with more emotion in her eyes than he had ever seen. "And I regret my actions to an extent."

"Keh," he scoffed, taking another swig of beer. "Hell must be gettin' pretty damn cold for you to apologize to me."

She deserved his hatred, she knew. The actions she took against him years ago were unjust and should receive the full-blows of his anger. "I know why you're angry, and I know that you must hate me with bitter passion," she stated, noticing the way he did not deny her accusations. "However, there is a more pressing matter to attend to."

He swiveled to face her, sending her a heated, yet curious glare in the process. "What are you rambling on about?" he growled.

A sigh escaped her lips as her mournful brown eyes found his. "It's my sister," she stated softly.

Suddenly, Inuyasha stood in front of her, teeth bared as he crushed his beer can in his fist. "What happened to Kagome?" he demanded, eyes bearing into her soul like daggers.

Kikyo fidgeted with the bag slung over her shoulder. "She's been sick for a while now, Inuyasha," she explained quietly. "There isn't much time left."

Surprise overcame his expression as he stumbled back, all evidence of his anger gone from his appearance. "Sick?" he echoed, unsure if he heard her correctly.

She nodded. "She was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live. Her time is up."

Inuyasha slowly shook his head with disbelief as he stumbled back before hitting the couch and falling into it. Kagome – the beautiful girl who held no hatred within her heart, only kind words and thoughtful gestures – was sick. She was a bright spot within the world and although he hadn't been in contact with her in a long time, he knew she was out there somewhere, spreading her warmth. To imagine a world without her … it was dark and cold.

"How much time?" he finally asked with a shaky breath, placing his head into his hands.

"It could be a few hours or a few days, now," Kikyo spoke softly. "The doctors can't be exact."

He sat in silence for a few moments, trying to wrap his mind around everything Kikyo had said. A hundred questions raced through his mind, but only one managed to sum them all up. "Why did you come lookin' for me?" he asked in a softer tone, looking like a broken man.

"I spoke to Kagome only hours ago. It seems as though her last wish is to speak with you." Her auburn eyes peered at him, judging his reaction to her words.

"Why the hell would she want to see me?" he demanded to know, finally peering up at her with glazed eyes. "You fucked up our relationship beyond repair."

Kikyo's eyes softened. "Believe me, I never wanted to see you or my sister so unhappy. If I had known this was to be the result of my actions, I would have changed them in a heartbeat."

He scoffed and lit a cigarette, breathing in slowly until the smoke filled his lungs, before letting it out in a deep breath. "Lady Kikyo actually made a mistake?" he commented with a slight smirk. "Hell has definitely frozen over."

She clutched a hand tighter around her purse and her eyes hardened with determination. "I am fully aware of your hatred for me. I do not ask for forgiveness. However, it is Kagome's dying wish. I know that even you, Inuyasha, wouldn't sink so low as to deny my sister this. I am unsure of her intentions, but I refuse to fail her during her last moments."

Inuyasha didn't answer; rather he simply sat there with a distorted expression on his face, as if he was trying to figure out a difficult problem. His knee bounced with aggravation and his teeth appeared to sink into his cigarette.

With a sigh, Kikyo turned to leave. "She'll be at Shikon Hospital in the cancer patient ward. Tell the receptionist you're her fiancé, and I assure you they'll allow you to see her." She smiled kindly at Miroku, thanking him for his help, before walking toward the stairs. "Do not let your hatred for me overshadow your love for Kagome, Inuyasha. The fates have given you a final chance to make things right."

Without another word, Kikyo slowly walked up the staircase and disappeared out the door, allowing it to slam shut behind her.

Silence permeated the air for a few minutes as the men allowed the new information to sink in. Miroku turned toward his friend with a somber gaze. "Kagome is dying," he whispered softly, as if he needed to hear the words for himself on his own tongue.

Inuyasha sat quietly on the couch, his arms resting against his thighs as he lowered his head, trying to wrap his mind around the new reality Kikyo bestowed upon them. He mentally cursed everyone to hell, including himself. There wasn't really a reason, and there wasn't anyone to blame, but damn it all, he had to divert his anger somewhere! This time, there was no bad guy to hunt down. This time, the killer was attacking from within, and it was something Inuyasha couldn't fight.

He felt so helpless.

Miroku slipped his hands into his jeans, but made no other movement. A sense of mourning had settled over the two, both of them unable to accept what Kikyo said. It was so unreal, so terrifyingly wrong, that it blew them away. He lifted his violet eyes to his friend, concerned for his heartbreak. "What are you going to do, Inuyasha?" he asked quietly.

Inuyasha screwed his eyes shut and put his head in his hands, gripping his hair tightly. "I don't fucking know," he replied, but his words held no emotion other than complete defeat.


	2. A Dying Wish

**Cold Forgiveness  
Chapter 2: A Dying Wish**

The stench of medicine and death caused nausea to churn in his stomach. Inuyasha felt out of place in the cold austere hospital waiting room. Uncomfortable plastic chairs were occupied by patients and visitors alike, but neither held a smile. There was nothing happy about the cancer patient ward.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to keep the trembling under control. Not wanting to look high when seeing Kagome for the first time in years, he hadn't had a drug fix or a cigarette since the night before. Already he could feel the withdrawal symptoms taking hold of his body unwillingly.

Inuyasha shuffled up to the receptionists' desk, his amber eyes roaming over the various papers scattered about.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist seated on the other side of the counter asked, her brown eyes peering at him with question. He noticed that she didn't even attempt to smile.

He cleared his throat. "I'm here to see Higurashi, Kagome," he replied in a soft, scratchy voice.

She glanced down at her computer screen and typed in a name. "What is your relationship?"

He furrowed his brows, confused by such an intimate question. Who were they to ask visitors what their relationships with the patients were? And what about privacy? "Uh, I'm her fiancé," he finally replied, recalling what Kikyo had said the night before.

With a quick glance at him, the woman gave him a visitors' pass and directed him to her room. He nodded in thanks before disappearing down the adjoining hallway.

Inuyasha's feet felt like lead as he slowly walked toward Kagome's room. Sickly patients greeted him at every turn, causing his tremors to intensify ten-fold. His heart began beating irregularly fast with each step that drew him closer to his destination.

When he came to the room number the receptionist gave him, he hesitated on opening it. He had no idea what to expect, and the idea of Kagome being deathly ill terrified him. Last time he saw her, she had been a vibrant young girl with so much life. Although, he couldn't help but remind himself that his last memory of her had been with tears.

With a deep breath, he raised a shaky hand and turned the handle, allowing the door to swing open into the room beyond. What he saw knocked the breath from his lungs. His skin turned clammy and his mouth ran dry. A lump stuck in his throat as he tried to process the sight around him.

Kagome was lying in a white hospital bed. Her usual lively skin was a sickly blue color, almost paste-like, and the vibrant ebony hair that used to twirl with the breeze was now stringy and thin, worn down by various chemicals. Her face was sharp and bony from being so skinny, no longer holding the small dimples or rosy cheeks.

Machines beeped quietly nearby as Inuyasha took a few hesitant steps inside. Various tubes were attached to Kagome's body and wires were tangled together, plugged into three different machines. She appeared to be sleeping, but with the state her body was in, it was as if death had already come.

The only lively object that offset the dreary room was a bouquet of flowers, signed from a few of her friends. Inuyasha vaguely recognized some of the names from years ago, but otherwise had no idea who half the people were. She must have made quite an impact.

He silently took a seat next to her, tracing his gaze over her sickly form. The woman who slept soundly in the bed was not the Kagome he knew. The girl from his memories had a fiery personality and always lent a hand to help another. Her determination was unwavering and she was a fighter at heart. How could something so small tear down a woman so strong?

The door opened and startled Inuyasha out of his musings. He glanced up to see a young nurse step inside hesitantly. "Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized on entrance, noting the man at her patient's bedside. "I didn't mean to disturb. I was just coming to take the last of the flowers out of here."

"Why?" Inuyasha demanded, suddenly angered by the fact that she dared to intrude and take away the only hopeful appearance left in the room.

She smiled, oblivious to his distress. "Ms. Kagome here gets almost twenty of these bouquets a day. We have to clear them out every week in order to make room." She chuckled at the memories as she picked up the remaining flowers and moved to exit the room.

Pausing, the nurse pursed her lips and glanced back at the broken man. "She has a beautiful heart, you know," she said quietly. "Kagome has been such a bright spot in this hospital since she was admitted. Always kept hope alive and the children became quite fond of her. It's a shame such a fate had to befall a pure-hearted soul like her. But perhaps the heavens believe her job is done." With a final sad smile, the nurse tipped her head in farewell and exited the room, leaving Inuyasha alone with the sleeping beauty.

With a deep breath, he took one of her frail hands in his, trying to ignore the shaking in his limbs. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the back of her hand and cringed at how thin her skin felt. He could trace her veins clearly with his eyes, making his stomach churn again.

Inuyasha didn't know how long he sat at Kagome's bedside, listening to her shallow breathing and the sounds from the machines. She looked so defeated, as if the very life had been sucked from her body, leaving behind a dying shell.

Scowling, Inuyasha stood up and took a step away from the woman in the bed. He clenched his fists. He shouldn't have come, he decided silently. She was too pure for him, too _good, _that he didn't deserve to see her in her final moments. Besides, it was not the way he wanted to remember the vibrant girl from his memories. The Kagome he knew was so different from the frail and sickly woman on the bed.

Mentally cursing himself for his stupidity, he turned to walk out the door. But just as his hand touched the knob, a soft sigh reached his ears. He paused, hearing the blood rush to his ears as his heart thudded painfully in his chest. With a deep breath, he turned around.

Kagome was looking at him with a forlorn gaze. Her eyes were glazed over from the many medications and fluids injected into her body, and her lips moved into a lopsided grin.

"Inuyasha," she breathed, her voice sounding hoarse to his ears.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans to hide his obvious need for a fix, and took a step toward her. Kagome's expression visibly brightened. "You came," she sighed with relief, almost as if she expected him not to see her.

"Yeah," he replied, moving around her bed and taking a seat once more.

She studied him for a long time, causing him to wither under her gaze. Even doped up on medicine, it was obvious that he was a druggie going through withdrawal. He hated that Kagome had to see him like this, especially a final time. Then again, he could say the same vice versa.

"I've missed you," she admitted quietly, causing the young man to turn a startled expression toward her. She only smiled. "It's been such a long time."

"Why did you send Kikyo after me?" Inuyasha questioned. Being with Kagome brought back a flood of memories, some he wasn't particularly fond of. But the ones that spoke of happier times were worse, causing his heart to ache beneath his chest.

The sickly woman closed her eyes with a sigh. "So, my sister managed to find you after all."

He rolled his eyes. "Keh, course she did. Otherwise I wouldn't be here."

"Strange," she mused, opening her eyes and studying his face again. "People seem to come around once you're lying on your death bed."

It was supposed to be a joke, for she smiled slightly in spite of the dark situation at hand, but Inuyasha didn't find the humor in it.

Instead, his scowl only deepened and he leaned back, rubbing a hand through his hair. "What do you want from me, Kagome?" he asked, feeling the familiar sound of her name on his tongue. He hadn't spoken that three syllable word before Kikyo approached him, and now saying it to Kagome's face felt strange and surreal.

She suddenly looked self conscious, if one could be on the brink of death. "I wanted to see you," she replied quietly, meeting his gaze with hesitant eyes. "Is that so wrong?"

He scoffed. "It is with our history."

"Look, Inuyasha," she spoke, her eyes never wavering from his. "I never meant for things to happen the way they did."

"It wasn't even your fault," he cried, digging his fingers into the arms of his chair in a death grip. He grounded his teeth. "Don't you even think about taking the blame."

She smiled half-heartily. "Inuyasha, we were all to blame for what occurred." He rested back in his chair and folded his arms, turning his gaze toward the window.

They sat in silence for a moment save for the beeping of Kagome's machines. She looked back at him with a sad expression. "I still love you, you know," she admitted quietly, biting her lip to hold back the wave of tears that threatened to escape.

Inuyasha turned toward her with a somber gaze, fighting to keep his shaking hands under control. But the sadness in her eyes caused him to look down, suddenly finding the floor much more interesting.

"I never meant to hurt you," he mumbled.

"I know."

"And I never stopped caring."

"I know."

He looked up at her with a fierce determination in his eyes. "No, Kagome, you don't know," he growled. "You don't know how many times I sat alone, regretting every word I said to you that day. You don't know how many times I couldn't even get out of bed because it just hurt _too damn much_ not to see you. And you don't know how many times I tried to apologize, but just couldn't find the courage."

She peered at him without a smile, listening to his raw pain. "Fuck, Kagome," he said, placing his head in his hands. "I hurt you so much. I thought you never wanted to see me again. Forget asking for forgiveness. You have a right to hate me."

"Oh, Inuyasha," she cooed softly, reaching out a hand and touching him gently on the arm. He looked up at her with tired eyes. "I could never hate you. Besides, I forgave you a long time ago."

"How could you, Kagome?" he asked desperately. "After everything that happened."

She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against her pillows. "You love my sister, Inuyasha." It was a straight-forward comment that had nothing to do with what he was asking her.

He clenched his hand into a fist. "How many times do I have to tell you, I fell out of love with her the moment she betrayed me."

Kagome shook her head and smiled sadly. "You never fall out of love with someone," she whispered. "The flame doesn't burn as brightly, but it never goes out."

He gazed at her with a smoldering intensity, listening silently to the machines and the steady breathing between them. It was true what Kagome said. No matter how hard he tried or how many times he drank himself senseless to the point of almost forgetting, Inuyasha knew his feelings for Kikyo would never fade. He had loved her with a fiery passion, although being more reserved, Kikyo didn't always reciprocate those feelings.

"I know the truth of what happened, Inuyasha," was Kagome's mumbled reply, so soft he almost didn't catch it.

The churning in his stomach that had accompanied him on the way to her room returned full force and he swore his heart missed a beat. "The truth?" he echoed, his eyes wide, staring at her with disbelief.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes. "Yes," she answered, weakly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know all about Naraku and the way he threatened to blackmail my sister. I've always known."

He furrowed his brows. "You've known all along?" She smiled half-heartily. "Then why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you-"

She cut him off with a shake of her head. "It doesn't matter," she replied. "I understood that the bond that you and Kikyo shared couldn't be broken. Even if that bond was a drug overlord who used you to do his bidding."

Inuyasha winced and turned away from her, ashamed by his past. "I'm not disappointed in you, Inuyasha," Kagome said, causing him to look at her with a startled expression. "You did what you had to in order to protect my sister. That is more than I could ever ask of anyone. I am eternally grateful that you saved Kikyo from a dark world, even though my heart was broken in the process."

"Kagome, I never-"

"Don't," she interrupted. "I don't need to hear anymore apologies. Like I said, everyone seems to come around once you're lying on your death bed." She grinned in spite of the bad joke and Inuyasha couldn't help but return the gesture.

A coughing fit suddenly encompassed Kagome and she shook violently, throwing herself forward to dispel the mucus in her lungs. Wide-eyed, Inuyasha stood up and placed his hand on Kagome's back. "Kags, what's happening?!" His terror was evident in his voice. "Kagome?"

She waved him off and shook her head. He watched helplessly as she continued to cough for a few minutes, before finally, the fit ceased and she was able to rest back in bed once more.

Her eyes seemed almost colorless and her skin had turned even paler as sweat graced her brow. "It's okay," she wheezed, seeming to be drained of energy. "I'm in the final stages of cancer. This is what's supposed to happen."

Kagome's words sent a shock through Inuyasha's body. He had almost forgotten that she was indeed lying on her death bed, that her life was hanging in the balance, and that at any moment her heart could stop beating.

He felt agony tear at his chest and an overwhelming desperation came over him. He didn't want her to die, he finally realized. He had always known that the day she died would be the end of his life, but to be sitting beside her, speaking to her a final time, he had to come to terms with his unstable emotions. Kagome, the woman who held his heart in a firm grasp, was dying. And it was very real. It was no nightmare he would wake up from.

"You're really dying, aren't you?" he whispered after a long moment of silence. The words felt strange on his tongue as he forced his thoughts to be heard.

She smiled softly at him, her eyes shining with tears. "Yeah," was her whispered reply.

Inuyasha was suddenly tossed back years ago, to bright summer days and cozy winter nights. He would hold her close and kiss her senseless, bathing himself in her warmth and kindness. Her laughter rang in his ears as the years passed and the way her eyes narrowed when she was annoyed never left his mind.

He had always known she was out there somewhere, spreading her happiness. He had even known that there was a possibility that she would find love with another man. It pained him to admit that fact, but he knew it to be true. However, he was willing to give up his own happiness in exchange for keeping Kikyo's life intact and allowing her little sister to lead a fulfilling life as well. In the end, he had improved two lives instead of selfishly improving his own.

His amber eyes peered up at her now, the faded beauty of her past still radiating strongly in her eyes. It couldn't possibly be the end, but he knew in his heart it was. When he left that hospital room, he would never see Kagome again, never hear her cheerful laughter, or see her become the mother she always wanted to be.

There were so many questions he wanted to ask, so many things left to say, but there wasn't enough time. And he knew it. She was slowly slipping away from him and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

"I don't want you to die," he admitted quietly in a broken voice. He absently realized his hands weren't shaking anymore.

"Oh, Inuyasha," she replied, reaching out a hand toward him. "We all must do things we don't want. Life isn't fair, after all."

He looked at her, realizing that nothing in life would matter anymore after her untimely demise. Perhaps he would even consider taking his own life. But a flash of Kikyo's face came to mind and he knew that even if he wanted to die, he couldn't even control that much. Naraku had him under his watchful eyes. If Inuyasha died, so would Kikyo, and she had too much to live for.

"Inuyasha," Kagome called, her voice a mere whisper now. "I need you … to do something for me."

It was obvious that she was exhausted. "Don't talk," he commanded softly. "Save your strength. You can tell me tomorrow."

Kagome smiled sadly. "I don't know … if there will be a tomorrow … for me."

He stayed silent, knowing she was right. He finally hung his head in defeat, feeling as if the very life had been sucked out of him. His body felt totally drained after only an hour of visiting with her. Is this what the hospital did to a person? Or was it because in actuality, he was tired of fighting – society, Naraku, the drugs, and now Kagome's terminal illness. He just didn't have any fight left in him.

"I want you to promise me you won't refuse," she spoke now, her voice a hoarse whisper.

"I promise," was his immediate response, knowing he would go to the ends of the earth for the woman he loved.

Her hand tightened around his. "Marry Kikyo."

Inuyasha stared at her a moment with wide eyes, feeling as if the very breath had been knocked from his lungs. A few minutes passed in complete silence as he comprehended her words. "You want me to do _what_?" he finally growled, his brows furrowed.

Her smile fell and her eyes turned pleading. "Listen to me, Inuyasha-"

He stood up from his chair. "You're telling me that everything she put me through – freeing her from Naraku and making my life a living hell, losing you because it was dangerous, and then her leaving the first chance she got – even after all that bullshit, you want me to fucking _marry her_?!"

Kagome's eyes followed him as he paced the room, running his hands through his hair in utter frustration. "Please," she tried again, although her soft voice could barely be heard over the grumble of curses he was spewing. "Would you just listen to me? I know she's made some bad choices, but she has a good heart."

He turned around and glared at her. "This is why you asked me to come?" he asked, standing over her, enraged. "So you can ask me to marry Kikyo and ride off into the sunset?"

Tears welled in her eyes and she bit her lip. "Inuyasha, I'm dying," she whispered, her voice choked with frustration.

His amber eyes flickered over her expression for a few seconds. "You think you need to remind me?"

She sighed, that old flare of annoyance coming to life, making Inuyasha lose all anger. His lips twitched, but he didn't smile. "I don't have a lot of time left, Yash. There is still so much I want to do in life, and I won't get to do it."

Inuyasha expected her to start bawling or rambling on in a high pitched voice that girls do when they're upset. But instead, she just looked at him calmly, causing him to slowly sink down in his chair again.

"You know," she said with a half-smile. "If I could have one wish, it would be to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Kagome …" He had no words of comfort to offer her, and he couldn't promise her it was going to be okay. Instead, he gestured for her to move over and, careful of the tubes and wiring, he gently laid down beside her, curling her to his chest.

She easily found her rightful place against him: just under his chin where she could hear his heart beat steadily with her own. He raked his hands through her hair in silence as they listened to the others breathing.

"I wish we could have had more time together," Kagome mumbled, closing her eyes against his gentle ministrations. She ignored the scent of smoke and weed on his clothes, instead concentrating on the faint scent buried beneath, that was all his own.

"Me too," was the silver-haired man's reply, his amber eyes staring blankly out toward the setting sun.

"I meant what I said, though," she stated with determination. She didn't look up, too exhausted to do anything but lay against her lover's chest. "I want you to marry Kikyo."

"Why?" he grounded out, clearly unhappy about her final request.

"Because," she whispered, so softly he had to strain to hear. "She's alive, Inuyasha. I want you two to be together, to laugh and enjoy life."

He furrowed his brows, feeling the threat of tears coming on. "But how can I be happy … when you're not here?"

Kagome smiled against his chest. "I'll never leave you," she promised, placing a hand over his heart. "I'll always be right here, until we see each other again."

No more words were said between them as the sun slowly sank below the horizon. Even as Kagome drifted off to sleep, Inuyasha stayed, listening to her shallow breathing. He waited anxiously for her chest to rise each time, knowing that when it didn't, she would be gone.


	3. One Last Chance

**Cold Forgiveness  
Chapter 3: One Last Chance**

The wind blew across the Sunset Shrine, grazing at the leaves of the Sacred Tree. Upon its bark was a scar born years ago in a fairytale world. A hand reached up and touched it gently, recalling the memories in which the tree had seen. Children used to laugh and play, not knowing the real horrors that lay in wait just outside childhood.

Amber eyes glanced up into the moonlit leaves, ignoring the dried tear tracks that covered his cheeks and the dull ache in his throat from his wails of misery. It had been hours since Inuyasha held Kagome in his arms, listening to the last of her breaths as she slowly slipped from the world of the living.

Soon after she had lulled to sleep, the constant heart beat of her monitor slowed, until the short blips ceased all together. The world suddenly stopped spinning for the silver-haired man. He didn't recall removing himself from the hospital or even where he went afterwards. The rest of the night had been a blur. He didn't even know what time it was.

"Inuyasha," a voice called, pulling him back from the white hospital room in which Kagome spoke her last words.

He peered at the woman out of the corner of his eye. Kikyo looked at him hesitantly, her arms crossed over her chest as her hands played with the fabric of her jacket. The moonlight shimmered off her skin, making it appear a ghostly pale, and her brilliant raven locks blew gently in the breeze. Her brown eyes were mournful, and yet questionable.

"Kagome's gone," Inuyasha croaked. He didn't even try to hide the fact that his voice sounded so broken, so terribly tragic. Nothing mattered anymore without Kagome in the world. His life just seemed so pointless and cold. There was no hope left within him.

Kikyo closed her eyes and sighed deeply, allowing the realization to sink in. He guessed she had been preparing herself for her sister's death for months, so when the time came, the loss was a little easier to deal with.

Inuyasha turned his gaze back to the Sacred Tree. He fished a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, allowing the sweet taste of nicotine to infiltrate his lungs and fill them before he released the smoke into the air. Ironically, smoking didn't do anything for his shaken nerves. Just when he needed it the most, cigarettes gave out on him.

"You made her happy," Kikyo whispered, her voice carried by the light breeze in the air.

"Keh," he grunted. "What makes you say that?"

She took a few steps forward so she was standing beside him, following his gaze to the scar on the tree. "Even though she and I were never close, when the two of you were together, I never saw her without a smile."

He shoved his free hand into the pocket of his jeans. "Kagome was always smilin'," he replied, inhaling from his cigarette. "I had nothing to do with it."

Kikyo looked at him with a sad smile. "Believe me, Inuyasha," she whispered, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "It was because of you that she was so happy, even after you ended things with her."

Inuyasha glanced at her with tired eyes. "Don't lie to me," he said, his voice holding no anger or hatred. He didn't have the energy to glare at her or curse her name to hell. What was the point anymore?

"I wouldn't lie to you. Not about Kagome."

The two stood in silence for a few moments, their gazes trained on the scar upon the Sacred Tree. Although Inuyasha was standing outside the shrine that had been Kikyo and Kagome's home, his mind was elsewhere.

He was back in the white hospital room with Kagome curled against his chest. He could feel her hair slip through his fingers as he lulled her into a sleep which she would never wake from. The faint beat of her heart thundered through his body and her last request played over and over again in his mind.

_Marry Kikyo._

"Inuyasha," said woman called from beside him, pulling him back to the present day.

He turned to glance at her out of the corner of his eyes. "What is it?"

She looked at him with a determined gaze, her hands clenched tightly into the fabric of her jacket. "We can get away," she stated, her voice steady and strong.

Inuyasha looked at her fully now, a brow rose in question. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Taking a step toward him, she peered up at him with pleading eyes. "We can run away from this; from Naraku and the drugs. We can go somewhere he can't find us."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he replied in a harsh tone before taking a drag of his cigarette. A puff of smoke hovered in the air. "We can't run away from the bastard even if we tried. He's got too many connections that he'll kill us both before we can leave the city."

"Well, then I suppose turning him in is our only option," she reasoned, her resolve never wavering.

Inuyasha looked at her as if she had grown a second head. "What part of 'too many connections' don't you understand? If we turn him in, his goons will be all over us. Not to mention he'll probably be out of jail within hours."

"Then what do you suggest?" she bit back in return.

"Why are you so worried about it?" he demanded, cocking his head to the side. "It's not like you're in danger or nothin'."

Her eyes turned sad. "But what about you, Inuyasha?" she asked quietly. "Do you desire to live out the rest of your life under his control?"

"Of course not," he grumbled in return. "But there ain't much we can do about that, can we?"

Kikyo stayed silent for a moment, her eyes trained on his face as she pondered his words. "I'll find a way," she whispered gently. "It's my fault you're in this, so I shall be the one to undo the wrongs I've committed. Someday you'll be free from that monster and all the pain he has caused."

Inuyasha could tell by the broken tone of her voice that she had been beating herself up over his ordeal for quite some time, even if she never allowed anyone else to see how conflicted she was. Perhaps the weight of knowing she'd wronged another became too much for her. He knew the words she had just spoken would be the closest to an apology he would ever get from the Ice Princess herself.

_Marry Kikyo._

Kagome's words repeated in his mind once more. How could she have been so selfless? She never did get along with her sister, and when she and Inuyasha parted all those years ago, he was sure she would hate him for the rest of her life. Instead, with her last breath, she asked him to marry the one girl who she despised the most.

_I know she's made some bad choices, but she has a good heart._

What was Kagome trying to tell him? The evidence of Kikyo's betrayal was as plain as day. She became Naraku's slave and as soon as Inuyasha stepped in to help, she left without a trace, leaving him to take her place and ultimately suffer for years to come.

Was all that a lie? Did Kikyo have reasons for running away and leaving him behind? Inuyasha couldn't exactly answer those questions. He wasn't sure if he wanted to anyways. Because if it turned out that Kikyo had valid reasons for betraying him so long ago, then the hate he felt toward her would be invalid. Was he ready to accept the fact that she may not be the cold-hearted bitch he thought?

He shook his head to clear the thoughts. It didn't really matter anymore; none of it did. Kagome was gone from the world and he would never see her again. Her death left smiles a little duller, the sun a little darker, and his heart a little colder.

"I forgive you," he whispered into the air, ignoring the startled look Kikyo gave him.

Inuyasha wasn't sure if he would be able to fulfill Kagome's final wish. Marrying the woman who made his life a living hell wasn't exactly on the top of his to-do list. However, if Kagome was able to be so selfless as to ask him in the first place, then perhaps he could at least make an effort - even if his forgiveness was born from a cold heart that was unsure of loving again.

The two stood there in silence as the wind picked up and pulled a few leaves from the Sacred Tree, allowing them to flutter to the ground. Gray hues filled the skies as the sun rose over the horizon and a new day began.


End file.
